Well, folks. It's been too long since I've gotten on here to write. Life has been NUTS. I wish I could say it has been all sunshiny and happy, but unfortunately that is just not the truth. Through it all though, The Lord has shown His face more than ever. Even when I try to shy away from him, He does not give up on me. And boy is that great.
The past two weeks have been ones to test my faith. They have been filled with sadness, anger, hurt, joy, love, and grace all wrapped into one. I have learned that you can choose to be filled with sadness and anger or you can choose JOY. And that is what I choose. I have seen a life filled with anger and a life away from Jesus. Unfortunately, this is the life someone I love is living. It's scary to know that I have these genes in my body; I have seen this life being passed down from generation to generation. Let's just say, I am SO grateful to Jesus every day for filling me with so much joy that it just bursts out of the seams! Thank you Jesus!!!
Even though I am filled with joy through Jesus Christ, I'll be the first to admit that I feel stuck in a rut. Somedays I don't want to get out of bed, everything seems to annoys me, and I cry over the littlest things (and for those of you who know me, you know I don't cry). And during these times, I honestly have no idea what is going on. I have struggled with depression in the past, and I have overcome it. But there is always that scary thought in the back of my mind that it is creeping back in. I hear Jesus saying "Katie, lean on me, I love you." but I just can't. I'd rather sit in my misery than look to Jesus. And that makes my heart hurt. I think in my head that I am not sad about anything, but I think I know in my heart that torn relationships with ex-boyfriends and parents are eating me up. As I sit and write this with tears in my eyes, I feel like Jesus is sitting right next to me just holding me. And wow do I feel so loved. Here I am in the raw. These are hard things to admit. I think when people think of Christians, they think of people who never have hurt.. But I am the first to tell you, this is not all true. But luckily, we have a Lord who LOVES us more than we will ever know. And that is what gets me out of bed, and what gets me through my days sometimes.
I am so blessed. Through these past two weeks, Jesus has shown me so much love through people. I am surrounded by love. I have gotten so many letters of love, gifts of love, and hugs made of pure love. I am so grateful for those who have taken time out of their life to make sure that I am doing okay. You all know who you are, AND I LOVE YOU.
Gosh, when I started writing today, I had no idea this was what this post was going to be about. I hope you all see that through it all, Jesus is there. And He is love, folks. No matter what you are going through, no matter how badly you want to handle it all on your own, you cannot. You need Jesus. I need Jesus. I need to let him in right now and let him take control of this sadness and this rut I am in. At work the other day, I told an elderly man to have a great day. And he said with a smile on his face, "every day is a great day, some are just better than others." And that is the truth.
The past two weeks have been ones to test my faith. They have been filled with sadness, anger, hurt, joy, love, and grace all wrapped into one. I have learned that you can choose to be filled with sadness and anger or you can choose JOY. And that is what I choose. I have seen a life filled with anger and a life away from Jesus. Unfortunately, this is the life someone I love is living. It's scary to know that I have these genes in my body; I have seen this life being passed down from generation to generation. Let's just say, I am SO grateful to Jesus every day for filling me with so much joy that it just bursts out of the seams! Thank you Jesus!!!
Even though I am filled with joy through Jesus Christ, I'll be the first to admit that I feel stuck in a rut. Somedays I don't want to get out of bed, everything seems to annoys me, and I cry over the littlest things (and for those of you who know me, you know I don't cry). And during these times, I honestly have no idea what is going on. I have struggled with depression in the past, and I have overcome it. But there is always that scary thought in the back of my mind that it is creeping back in. I hear Jesus saying "Katie, lean on me, I love you." but I just can't. I'd rather sit in my misery than look to Jesus. And that makes my heart hurt. I think in my head that I am not sad about anything, but I think I know in my heart that torn relationships with ex-boyfriends and parents are eating me up. As I sit and write this with tears in my eyes, I feel like Jesus is sitting right next to me just holding me. And wow do I feel so loved. Here I am in the raw. These are hard things to admit. I think when people think of Christians, they think of people who never have hurt.. But I am the first to tell you, this is not all true. But luckily, we have a Lord who LOVES us more than we will ever know. And that is what gets me out of bed, and what gets me through my days sometimes.
I am so blessed. Through these past two weeks, Jesus has shown me so much love through people. I am surrounded by love. I have gotten so many letters of love, gifts of love, and hugs made of pure love. I am so grateful for those who have taken time out of their life to make sure that I am doing okay. You all know who you are, AND I LOVE YOU.
Gosh, when I started writing today, I had no idea this was what this post was going to be about. I hope you all see that through it all, Jesus is there. And He is love, folks. No matter what you are going through, no matter how badly you want to handle it all on your own, you cannot. You need Jesus. I need Jesus. I need to let him in right now and let him take control of this sadness and this rut I am in. At work the other day, I told an elderly man to have a great day. And he said with a smile on his face, "every day is a great day, some are just better than others." And that is the truth.
'So also you have sorrow now, but I will see you again, and your hearts will rejoice, and no one will take your joy from you'- John 16:22